New Traffic Signs

For the past two years, traffic in Dubai has been everybody's water-cooler-kitchen-pantry-small-talk topic of the day. Many ideas, suggestions and proposals on how to help solve Dubai's traffic problems are currently in discussion.

Some ideas are fairly sane and reasonable such as introducing alternative public transportation systems, expanding lanes or adding new ones, building more bridges and tunnels and introducing an intelligent traffic control and management solution.

Other ideas were a bit more on the wild side such as: Introducing road tolls and making Dubai a giant theme park (more than it already is) and have everyone pay to enter the city. Another wacky idea was to make working schedules according to areas. I.E. deira offices start work at 7:30, bur dubai at 8:30, SZR at 9:30 and the Free-zones at 10:30 (someone actually proposed that in Emirates Today's letters section a couple of days ago!).

I thought to myself: "if everybody else is doing it, why don't i give it a go?"

So i did, and this is what I came up with: A whole new collection of traffic signs.

EXTREME TAILGATING ZONE

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SUDDEN SPIT SPLASHES AHEAD

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ANNOYING TRAFFIC LIGHT: PATIENCE ADVISED

MAKEUP APPLICATION NOT PERMITTED BEYOND 120 KMPH

CAUTION: JUMEIRAH JANE AT LARGE

JIN SPOTTING ZONE

MULTIPLE ROAD-BOTTLENECKS AHEAD

EXCESSIVE ROAD CROSSING AREA

CAUTION: AGGRESSIVE DRIVERS

DOOR DING PARKING LOT

EYE-HAND COORDINATION SKILLS REQUIRED