Sing along: this Burj is my Burj, That burj is your Burj ...
Bottomline: everyone hates it!
But why? Is it really worse than the Big Ben replica tower on Sh. Zayed Road? Or the one that rotates? Or that falcon city of wonders with its not-so-original designs?
Not really!
My take on this is that the reason for this sever backlash is due to an extreme case of expat jealousy.
You see, we expats are the majority of the UAE population. We came to this great land and are actively contributing to its development and growth. Very few of us get recognised and we would like our fair share of this property bonanza.
So, if I were the developer of this oversized man-in-kandoura project, I would like to propose something to give some credit back to our hardworking expatriate community.
Maybe the following property concepts to be built somewhere in the vicinity of Burj Al Arabi:
BURJ AL EXPATI AL ARABI
Special facilities:
- Special pre-branded closets and storage compartments with brands such as Zara, River Island and Massimo Dutti and Fake AX, Fake CK and Fake Hugo Boss
- Centralized Hair Gel dispenser system with strong, extra strong and spiky strong options
- Extra ATMs to be activated end of every month to help pay off massive amount of credit card bills, car loans and personal loan
- Shuttle Bus services to all major Dubai clubbing spots available around the clock- All branches of coffee brands available at food court with door-to-door latte delivery
- In-house car mechanic that specialize in fixing 1980 to 1990 model BMWs only
- Every tenant receives 1 full shisha kit with personlised engraved pipe
BURJ RAJU AL-AGHATI
Special facilities:
- Tower floors divided according to profession: Barber, laundry, Cafeteria, Office boy , illegal car lift driver, visa wrangler
- Inhouse training centre for special classes offered in
* Linguistics: Mastering AraHinEnglish (bas babe, no gerger kalam wajed)
* Physics: Advanced Carpooling 101 (Evasive maneuvers to conquer Dubai-Sharjah-Ajman Highway and detect/evade police patrols )
* Psychology: Get out of trouble by pretending not to understand anything said around you(Ana mafi Kalam Arabi)
- State-of-the-art bicycle parking and storage facility
- Each tenant to recieve free copy of the book "Satwa, The Hidden Treasures"
BURJ AL BORIS EVANTONOVI
Special facilities:
- Maximum occupancy per tenant is 2 to 3 weeks only
- Central laundry for white linen garment washing only
- In house visa issue and typing centres
- Specialized Gold Souk at mezzanine floor with Russian speaking sales staff
- Door to door VISA renewal, cash delivery and transfer services available
- Instant service business centre for those last minute changes on fake business cards
- Free Copy of the best selling book "How to be deported from Dubai as Boris and comback as Evan"
- Each tenant to receive complete map and tour guide to Dubai hottest free-hold property developers and gold shops.
BURJ AL DUBAI TAXI AND TRANSPORTI
Special Facilities
- In House psychiatry clinics to resolve all your Dubai traffic trauma syndrome
- Never worry about not having the right change: Each housing unit has a centralized self replenishing automated money change maker thingi.
- All housing unit front doors are fixed with state of the art walk-in body and breath odor detector and to help decide if its time for a shower this month or not
- Print shop and emergency parking services available for those last minute demonstration needs
- Every tenant will get a free copy of “How to turn down those short Five- dirhams-only rides without getting reported to Arbab”
BURJ AL CONSTRCUTOR AL LABORI
Special Facilities
- Maximum capacity allowed per room is 10 pax only
- Residents of this tower get mean and dirty looks from Jumeirah Janes no more with the in house shopping mall and supermarket
- Housing units are designed in a way that residents will able to actually cook, bathe and sleep in separate rooms
- Maximum bunk-bed height not to exceed 2 beds per wall
- Ample and convenient bus parking space available
- Special spaces and lots for non-paid demonstrations (available with disposable office equipment for trash purposes)
34 Comments:
you have wayyy to much time.
By Anonymous, at January 13, 2007 at 12:04 PM
wow.. man a lot of effort has been put in this.. i like it.. but maybe harsha has a point..
would be great if gulf news read this and feature it next time they write about the fake burj or they do a blog survey etc..
hope ur doing well my friend
By BuJ, at January 13, 2007 at 12:45 PM
Shouldn't there be a Burj Al-Jumeira Janey? Tan and (bottle) blonde would be a start
By Zaydoun, at January 13, 2007 at 1:22 PM
Like it!! Agree with zaydoun though, there needs to be a Burj Al-Jumeira Janey!!! lol
By Anonymous, at January 13, 2007 at 1:34 PM
AWESOME! :D
By Anonymous, at January 13, 2007 at 4:41 PM
LOL!
By Anonymous, at January 13, 2007 at 4:48 PM
H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S!!!!!!!
J and I laughed until we cried!
:-)
By nzm, at January 13, 2007 at 5:56 PM
ROTFLMOA!
By Keef, at January 13, 2007 at 6:01 PM
Amazing... man you blow my mind... lol... Bur Al Expati Al Arabi was my favorite.. lol..and the old BMWs bit... so true...
By Anonymous, at January 13, 2007 at 6:44 PM
If Gulf News bothered to cut'n paste graphics as well as text, this would be a dead cert for Blogosphere. As it is, I see it being ripped for years to come..
By marwan, at January 13, 2007 at 7:44 PM
mumtaz!
I like the bit about the BMW's. I wonder which nationality you was talking about living at BURJ AL EXPATI AL ARABI?
By Jassim, at January 13, 2007 at 8:55 PM
LOL! THhat's HILARIOUS.
By Roba, at January 13, 2007 at 9:26 PM
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!
I laughed and laughed and laughed.
hilarious man, hilarious.
the burj al arabi is such a stupid concept.
By Anonymous, at January 14, 2007 at 1:35 AM
Fantastic
And if you'd like to comment on the restaurants in Dubai (anonymously if you want) then go here.
http://dubaifoodie.blogspot.com/
By Anonymous, at January 14, 2007 at 1:48 PM
Hahahaha... you REALLY put a lot of thought into this, didn't you??
Nice one... hehehe
By The Ego, at January 14, 2007 at 3:57 PM
Obviously a lot of hard work but it was worth it, you've come up with a classic, Moryarti!
By Seabee, at January 14, 2007 at 3:58 PM
This was amazing, faxing it to someone in the CID right now :D
By Anonymous, at January 14, 2007 at 5:34 PM
Hi Mory, you have really given careful thought into this, the facts that you have drawn your selections of the amenities from are bit controversial, but nevertheless mostly true...
I would like to add as an architect that Symbolism in architecture (building depicting certain object or living species to give a sense of its function) this Symbolism has died a long time ago, it is now only being taught at schools as a theory....
Regards
By Anonymous, at January 14, 2007 at 8:10 PM
This is one of the best blog post I ever saw!!
By Anonymous, at January 15, 2007 at 1:57 AM
This post deserves an award!
By BuJ, at January 15, 2007 at 4:38 AM
The AL Labori is a great idea, as homage to all those hard working blue men. Great post.
By The Image Village, at January 15, 2007 at 11:16 AM
Funny stuff ;)
By Ahsan Ali, at January 15, 2007 at 1:17 PM
Hilarious and so true
This post is really one of the best I have ever come across ... great work Mory ... Keep it up :)
Burj Al Expati Al Arabi is so damn true ... so true it hurts ...
Thank you for the good laugh :)
By Anonymous, at January 15, 2007 at 5:57 PM
Hilarious and so true
This post is really one of the best I have ever come across ... great work Mory ... Keep it up :)
Burj Al Expati Al Arabi is so damn true ... so true it hurts ...
Thank you for the good laugh :)
By Anonymous, at January 15, 2007 at 5:58 PM
i love this!
do you mind if i replicate the picture on my site?
- Y
By Anonymous, at January 17, 2007 at 2:47 PM
as harsha said you have WAY too much time...
again go back to ur country and cut the crap...
grow up
By Anonymous, at January 18, 2007 at 10:13 AM
Oh this is excellent. Maybe u should design a mega-project, a whole city filled with these buildings.
By One Nine Seven One, at January 19, 2007 at 4:34 PM
Exellent stuff !!! :)
An Addition of Burj Al-Omani complete with a Turbine will complete the Moryati Citi of burjs :)
By Anonymous, at January 22, 2007 at 1:50 PM
lovely!! especially the bits about facilities :D
thanks for the much needed smile :D
By Anonymous, at January 23, 2007 at 3:31 PM
Fantastic post! Great read! As a former Dubai resident/expat, I can completely relate...loved it.
By Anonymous, at January 27, 2007 at 5:57 PM
Superb!
Absolutely inspired!
Littlejimmy
http://britishexpats.com/blogs/beerandbloatingindubai
By littlejimmy, at January 29, 2007 at 11:15 AM
I am not a blog reader, and just came across this page through Google, but man is this funny,
Burj al Labori!!, thats a classic,
as for the comment up there about growing up and going back to your country, that person needs to loosen up, quit their job at Emirates post and get a flat in Burj Al Arabi,(on a govt loan)
By Anonymous, at May 8, 2007 at 11:55 PM
Good comments and Very funny pictures!!) You are best!
By Anonymous, at September 27, 2007 at 5:43 PM
BURJ AL EXPATI AL ARABI Is very funny, very interesting post. Made my day.
Invest in Dubai property
By Unknown, at November 15, 2009 at 2:03 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home