Dubai Consumer Mirror

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

sweet revenge


Have you ever "accidentally" scratched that fancy German coupe with double digits license plate that is parked in the handicapped parking space?

Did you ever "unintentionally" place your foot to trip over that b!tch who just gave that helpless waiter a piece of her narrow mind?

Are you a vigilante?


Share your stories - anonymous comments are encouraged ;)

posted by moryarti at 2/14/2006 12:00:00 AM

40 Comments:

  • actually i just did that today.. one luzer from my company dug up my profile and found i spoke arabic, then asked me to translate his name into arabic, scan it as a pdf (yes he was specific) and e-mail it because he wants it as a valentines gift to his boyfriend or something..

    anyway his name was phil and his boyfriend studied arabic in uni.. so i wrote فالفيل الكبير

    By Blogger BuJ, at February 14, 2006 at 2:07 AM  

  • This guy always parked in the offloading no-parking area right in front of the elevator entrance at our building's basement parking. He thinks he is a big shot and his allocated parking is too far from the elevator.

    Many of the residents complained to the landlord (who did nothing btw) to him blocking the single-lane driveway all that time; which makes it very hard for cars (especially SUVs) to pass and cars to offload their groceries, kids ..etc

    He didn't care and kept on blocking the entrance for 3 months without any respect or regard to other residents.

    One day I decided to end it once and for all. Got a bright red spray paint (the really nasty paint to remove) and sprayed "NO PARKING" on his white BMW hood, right side, left side and trunk.

    Of course i wore shades, a cap, had a hood on my head to make sure no one spots me while doing it..

    He never parked again ever since and the story became the story of month among residents.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 14, 2006 at 8:48 AM  

  • I used to live in an apartment and had a really noisy and inconsiderate Indian family upstairs. They would bang around and have huge pool parties on the roof every weekend for the adults and leave about 40 wild kids in the flat for the evening. In the morning there would be splodges of curry and shite all around the pool area and I basically lost a lot of sleep and work because of them. My babies would jump in their cots from every thud from upstairs. (I am talking about the sound of 100 plates shattering on a tiled floor kind of noise).
    After numerous complaints and countless nights of lost sleep I had just about taken as much as I could. I was cleaning out my store room and came across a tin of red paint which I had bought in one of those stupid Acehardware/stencilling/ilovemyhome moments. I went up to the roof and poured the whole lot over the side and watched with glee as it all dribbled over the top of his white Maxima. YES MR FAT NOISY SMELLY RUDE INDIAN GIT.....IT WAS ME.....YOU STUPID FECKER.

    By Blogger CG, at February 14, 2006 at 11:10 AM  

  • ok what does فالفيل الكبير mean - as much as i can read is it 'filafeel al kabeer' as in a huge filafil?? lol

    are cars the most popular way of taking a *fullfilling* revenge?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 14, 2006 at 12:00 PM  

  • lol @ Buj, anon and CG :)

    @ harsha - Seems like they are the easiest targets

    By Blogger moryarti, at February 14, 2006 at 1:13 PM  

  • lol buj u didn't!

    CG, indian family? pouring paint over an elephant would have worked wonders...unless ofcourse they were muslims, in which case, the car would definately suffice.

    well, In damascus one morning as I stood waiting for a micro bus to take me to uni with my two friends, another car stopped by with two sleezy men in it.

    I happened to be eating an apple, and one of the men took it upon him to start imitating the way i ate the apple(in a sleezy way ofcourse) and made rude comments.

    It was 7 am, and the man pissed me off, so I did the only right thing:
    I threw the apple right on his face infront of a whole crowd of palestinian men in Mo'7ayyam Falasteen.
    I had to move after that incident but it was worth it.

    there have been many more incidents but well I don't wanna take up your time lol

    By Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira, at February 14, 2006 at 2:37 PM  

  • Oh man! You all are so evil! I feel so innocent and inexperienced!

    By Blogger MJ, at February 14, 2006 at 11:14 PM  

  • The other day this woman took my parking space, and then got abusive when I tried to tell her i was there before.
    Luckily I spotted her later in the mall and decided to stalk her a bait.
    Later in the shop as she was busy, looking at something when I sneaked across and slid in a security tag into the side pocket of her handbag and hung around.
    Sure enough as she she left the ALARMS went off and the look on her face when the ITEM was found was indeed as they say , "PRICELESS"!

    By Blogger *, at February 15, 2006 at 9:04 AM  

  • kaya... you're evil

    HILARIOUS THOUGH !

    i'll put that down in my 'how to get even' diary

    :)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 15, 2006 at 10:32 AM  

  • I'd tell you but it's probably not best to reveal on a space anyone can read.

    Gees, judging by the responses so far, you should be asking something more like "what haven't you done?"

    By Blogger samuraisam, at February 15, 2006 at 2:17 PM  

  • You guys are waaaay baaaad! :-)

    I've thought about it, dreamed about what I would do, but never done any of it!

    What stops me is that I'm a firm believer of kismet/karma/fate - what goes around comes around.

    Call me gutless, but I know that if I did something like this, then one day something worse would happen to me - it would come back to bite me!

    By Blogger nzm, at February 15, 2006 at 3:32 PM  

  • ture ... and thats exactly what was happening to those people. They were being bad-to-the-bone, one day, it all truned around and struck them back.

    Go vigilantes!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 15, 2006 at 3:48 PM  

  • Doing bad things to get even or teach people a lesson makes us (almost) just as bad as them, perhaps worse. It also gives others the license to do similar things to us when they don't like some of our own actions or habits.

    There, don't I sound like a good guy. I have seriously fumed internally, on occasion, and wished there was something clever, or terrible I could do, while simultaneously realising my conscience wouldn't permit it anyway.

    Anyway @Kaya, I wouldn't advise you to do stuff like that. If RFID tags were so easy to remove, there would be no point putting them on goods. Shoplifters would simply remove the tags and walk out with the items.
    If only the tag was found in her handbag pocket, she couldn't be accused of trying to steal. If there was something attached to it, she would plead her innocence and security camera footage would have to be examined. I'm sure you wouldn't still be hanging around to see what happens then!

    (Just kidding.)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 15, 2006 at 4:31 PM  

  • Agree to Anon at 4:31 PM.
    besides this doesnt sound like jus a plain-revenge post...its more the robin-hood style "standing up for others who cant stand up for themselves" post right?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 15, 2006 at 5:46 PM  

  • Ditto anon @ 5:46

    This post was inspired by an incident that happened to me on that same day.

    I witnessed an SUV doing some serious 'car bullying' to a poor subcon Sunny; who (the sunnyman) did NOTHING to deserve this road rage. I witnessed the whole thing from the beginning.

    So, after seeing the whole thing, called the police, reported the SUV driver and told them how he was creating havoc and jeopardizing others motorist lives in a very irresponsible manner ..etc

    I just felt i had to do something about it and to be honest, if we all do the same i am sure those road-rage-renegades would think twice before doing anything..

    By Blogger moryarti, at February 15, 2006 at 7:18 PM  

  • never the less, the stories are damn hilarious esp. Kaya and CG :) :)

    By Blogger moryarti, at February 15, 2006 at 7:49 PM  

  • I would have done that too, Moryarti.

    I hate these bullies on the road. If I didn't care so much about our vehicle, I'd tap the brakes to scare the living sh*t out of those who sit about 4" off my back bumper - but don't want to risk them slamming into my car!

    By Blogger nzm, at February 15, 2006 at 8:27 PM  

  • IDEAS NEEDED FROM FELLOW VIGILANTES

    I dont know if any of you remember and I am too lazy to dig through my archives, but I wrote some stuff during Ramadan about a female who would jog up the street semi-naked in the early morning, eat very openly with her car window down...blah blah...I just hated her lack of manners and respect.
    Well today at lunchtime I was sat in my car outside the school and she pulled into the parking space next to me. She swung her door open.....yes you can guess.

    D


    I


    N



    G







    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.


    My daughter and I both gasped.

    Then she clicked her remote and did an about turn.

    I kid you not. My engine was running and music rolling....and she pretended that there was no-one there. Off she bounced into the school.

    As soon as I could I got the hell out of there. My daughter reckons that if she had come out before I left that I would have had her by the throat on the floor. And thats what I thought too.

    I won't attack her vehicle cos it is a piece of shit on its own.

    I need some really super duper ways to get her.

    I have 9 days to come up with something (school break now).

    Happy thinking, plotting and hunting for me.

    By Blogger CG, at February 15, 2006 at 9:27 PM  

  • le banana + le exhaust pipe + woman who can't figure out her car = needless expensive call to a mechanic or a tow company that will result in a very embarassing bill paying ceremony.

    By Blogger samuraisam, at February 15, 2006 at 11:26 PM  

  • harsha, that translates to the "big elephant" rather than "Phil".

    By Blogger BuJ, at February 16, 2006 at 4:07 AM  

  • SS,

    interesting story. how did the palestino men react?

    sam,

    i hope you will tell us more, but use anon for obvious reasons.

    MJ,

    hope you will take this as an educational experience :)

    finally CG,

    this is a fantastic case where you can drop a few spoons of sugar (nothing fancy, just straight out of the kitcken) in her petrol tank. but you need enough so that it actually falls all the way into the tank. if you put too little then you will only get the effect when she fills up.

    sugar (even as little as a tea spoon) will glue her engine insides like it's clam-shut with superglue. no way to fix it really. she will have to change the engine.

    the only watch-it is if she has a lock on the petrol cover. however i doubt it.

    good luck :)) and keep me posted!

    By Blogger BuJ, at February 16, 2006 at 4:14 AM  

  • Wow! actually a plotting plan community over here!

    By Blogger Harsha, at February 16, 2006 at 9:21 AM  

  • i think its time to go undercover here......hmmmm.....

    so we have banana...sugar..

    but her car is crap. I doubt it will bother her too much.

    Maybe I should just go upto her when she is stood with a group of people and ask her who else has a car identical to hers, since someone dinged my car....(there is none the same as hers)....

    come on guys....help me

    By Blogger CG, at February 16, 2006 at 9:30 AM  

  • i go with banana..carrot would do too

    By Blogger Harsha, at February 16, 2006 at 9:48 AM  

  • Well Buj, they all laughed, apart from the one with the apple on him ofcourse. Needless to say, he will think again before behaving sleezy with a woman.

    By Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira, at February 16, 2006 at 11:40 AM  

  • These are fantastic!

    Does anyone here plan revenge in advance? For example, if you have been warned that someone is possibly planning to do something unpleasant to you or one of your friends, do you start plotting a response?

    I do. I have a poem ready to roll if a certain person ever pisses me off.

    By Blogger secretdubai, at February 16, 2006 at 12:31 PM  

  • "if the car is shit then it most likely reflects upon the driver. this is dubai after all."

    Elaborate Pls

    By Blogger Harsha, at February 16, 2006 at 12:42 PM  

  • CG,

    maybe you're missing the big picture.. perhaps u just need to go upto her and just give her a good beating.

    if the car is shit then it most likely reflects upon the driver. this is dubai after all.

    By Blogger BuJ, at February 16, 2006 at 12:43 PM  

  • SD
    I am plotting....
    come forth please.

    By Blogger CG, at February 16, 2006 at 9:35 PM  

  • harsha,

    my elaboration:

    in dubai people go to great lengths to show off their cars.

    By Blogger BuJ, at February 16, 2006 at 10:11 PM  

  • I have to say something in my defense. First of all being the wife of the mall manager I know where all the cameras are.(NYAH!NYAH!) Secondly I should have mentioned the tag had an item attached to it.
    Thirdly I had more fun yesterday coming back from Dubai. But I shall post on that real soon.

    By Blogger *, at February 18, 2006 at 12:16 AM  

  • Oh Kaya ...! The anticipation is killing us ;)

    By Blogger moryarti, at February 18, 2006 at 7:43 AM  

  • Kaya - you came to Dubai and you didn't call me?

    I may never recover!

    lol

    By Blogger nzm, at February 18, 2006 at 1:47 PM  

  • VERRY VERRY DROLL
    nzm and Professoré'.
    You Professoré, where you get time to blog or are you shirking your nappy changing duties?
    Oh! Remember that piece of equipmnet on MEET THE FOCKERS 2 that De Niro came up for his grandchild?
    HEE HEE HEE! Wheres Mrs.M. I want her input on Professoré nappy changing,burping, waking up at night, schedule.

    By Blogger *, at February 19, 2006 at 9:41 AM  

  • Kaya - My dear ... where do you want me to start from?? actually he has been extremely helpful, blogging while feeding...hehehehe..he has managed feeding, burping, putting her to sleep but NOT YET nappy changes.. and to his luck my daughter is bright, she waits till i take off her nappy then decides on dropping another one!! (oh yeah i dont only mean Number 1.. i also mean number 2!!!!)

    So since now i am on maternity leave .. the schedule is as such, i take over the night shift till 6 am , then my mom takes over.. then when Mr. M comes home from work, he takes over and i nap!!

    i have one thing to say about motherhood: exhausting!! ... i have so much more more more respect to my mother!!

    However, the beauty of the baby going to sleep is priceless!!! hehehehe.. God i cant keep track of days or dates.. though i have skillfully managed to watch Desperate housewives..

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 19, 2006 at 9:10 PM  

  • Great to see you back on the blogs, Mrs M!

    By Blogger nzm, at February 20, 2006 at 8:43 PM  

  • AMEN ! WELCOME TO THE SISTA HOOD Mrs.M. While you are home make sure you get the most of feeding her. Once you get back to work then it will be mostly bottles. these are the best moments of you life. Yet (MUWAHAHHAHHAHAH!)
    Professoré well done. A pat on ur back.

    By Blogger *, at February 20, 2006 at 10:41 PM  

  • truly..

    الجنة تحت آقدام الأمهات

    Mrs Moryarti

    it's great to hear from you after the birth of your little baby.. alf mabrook and best wishes for a super healthy life for child and mother.. and sanity for the father of course.. and lots of cash.. but more love.

    By Blogger BuJ, at February 21, 2006 at 2:44 AM  

  • well since her father is feeding her at the moment - (kindly note its 1:35 AM.) i thought i will say hello and thanks to NZM & Buj..

    And kaya - the more advices, the better.. like do u ever get to sleep at least a straight 7 hours????????????????????

    Anyhow, its my turn now.. Leen needs to be put in Bed.. So good night for now, and good morning in another 2 hours!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 25, 2006 at 1:47 AM  

  • ya3teekom el 3afye ya dar Moryarti :)

    By Blogger BuJ, at February 28, 2006 at 2:48 AM  

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