Dubai Consumer Mirror

Thursday, January 12, 2006

You are a moron on wheels ...

When you flash/honk/tailgate the car in front of you, even though the entire traffic is slowing down because of the red light few feets ahead

When honking is considered your second language

When you park like this (thanks Keefieboy!)

When you consider the safety distance between the two cars on your left (or right) as "an opportunity"

When the driver ahead of you (presumably) irritates you, you do anything in your strength just to drive by him/her just to give the "LOOK"

When you've been force-moving away everyone in front of you on the far left lane for the past 15 minutes, just so that suddenly you slide across all lanes to grab that first right turn

When you use the hard shoulder to cut queues

When you, regardless to what speed you are at, what street you are on, always slow down to "check out what that police car is doing on the the other side of the road"

When you reduce speed from 120 to 40km just to change lanes

When you flash and honk at the car that's at least 1/2 km ahead of you, just because it moved into your lane

When on a highway, you decide to race and catch up with the poor sob entering from the right side and who is trying to pick up speed to match the highway's

When you think that once you turned on the blinker, its OK to cut everyone off

When your day is never complete unless you play a round of dodge-the-pedestrian-trying-to-cross-the-street game

When you consider driving with your baby in your lap as "cute"

When you block parked cars, lockup your car, and go watch a movie

When you make sudden turns without using the blinkers or reducing speed

When you park in handicapped parking spaces

When you switch on the front and rear fog lights all year round

When, while driving, you believe you can perform 2 of the following things simultaneously:


  • sms someone
  • smoke
  • eat
  • talk on mobile
  • read the paper
  • write to the paper
  • change cds/tapes
  • check navigation/map/guide
  • dance
  • drink
  • sing
  • stick one leg out on dashboard
  • fix hair, cap or ghutra
  • play with toes
  • apply makeup
  • pick your nose
  • scratch your "webos"
  • scratch someone else's "webos"
  • hold up the A3 size board that has your mobile number on, for that 'girl' in the car you have been chasing for the past 3 hours that you want to make "nice friendship" to

When you don't allow people to change lanes, though traffic is moving at 2 kmph

When you think you can give people the finger and get away with it (thanks Secret Dubai)

When you think you are "cool" because you are not wearing your seat belt

When going at 120kmph, you don't feel comfortable unless you can clearly read the fine print on the back windshield of the car ahead of you

When you only bully Sunnys, Corollas, Echos or any on wheels that are manufactured before 1990, and leave the mercs, beemers and other pimped rides - because you are being "a mature driver"

When you, after reading this post, feel that you relate to at least 3 out of any of the above.

14 Comments:

  • heheheh very nice post, quite nice and easy to read and very easy to relate to. i am guilty of quite a few of those.. but mainly out of peer pressure when i see many others doing them, it tends to rub on me. although so far i haven't assaulted anyone yet,, bas elhamdillah.. probably since i'm not in UAE that often these days.. allah ye3een el masa6eel when i return.. be afraid.. be very afraid.. (joking of course)

    By Blogger BuJ, at January 13, 2006 at 4:03 AM  

  • haha moryarti I wonder if all arabs and asians went to the same drivers school... i.e. NONE am I generalizing? ok maybe a little... aasif

    buj, you haven't assaulted anyone yet? maalesh, indak waqt... next time ey?

    By Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira, at January 13, 2006 at 6:12 AM  

  • thanks Buj .. glad you liked it. i think getting the frustration out here is better than getting it out on someone on the road ;)

    shaykhspeara sha'ira: I think buj is not over the 'left hand side' to 'right hand side' swap yet .. :)

    By Blogger moryarti, at January 13, 2006 at 11:30 PM  

  • This post was quoted today in Emirates Today.
    I think you hit the nail right on the head! And I am glad to see I passed the moron test by NOT relating to at least 3 of those points. Although, I must admit, Dubai HAS made me a much more agressive driver.

    By Blogger Dubai Sunshine, at January 14, 2006 at 12:59 AM  

  • honestly.. and i mean it honestly I almost had an accident the other day because i drove on the dubai side of the road.... where? on the island.

    By Blogger BuJ, at January 14, 2006 at 3:51 AM  

  • sunshine - i didn't know till i saw Chilton's post on the UAEcb today... thanks for pointing it out :)


    Buj - lol

    By Blogger moryarti, at January 14, 2006 at 2:28 PM  

  • Glad I relate to 'just' 2 of the many mentioned points! Hence, I Passed! =)

    Such acts are so v common; sad really. It's a shame that driving 'ethics' do not exist for the majority of people...& with even the minority being pressured into being morons!

    By Blogger lulu, at January 14, 2006 at 4:32 PM  

  • the lack of civic sense is not just limited to driving in the uae. we have a long way to go i guess if we could pin down on wy someof us see how wrong it is and others dont. :)

    By Blogger BaptizedLucifer, at January 14, 2006 at 7:08 PM  

  • Shaykhspeara Sha'ira: i just got my drivers license today. my lecturer told us tht te dubai police had requested them tomake the lectures more elaborate so he had the entire syllabus updated.

    we have lectures in english, hindi/urdu and arabic on separate days.

    yet, what i saw was scary. most learners especially the heavy vehicle ones coudnt be bothered about the lectures. they just ket asking for a signature ontheir receipts tht they had attended all the lectures. they start off with their sad stories of hw tey need ot go give their assesment test and blah.

    the lecturer would get fed up too and sign.

    why its soscary is coz its inthe lectures where we were taught all the ethics of driving, and allsorts of road signs in detail. u don tlearn that on the road from ur driving instructor. its no ttheir job to teach u tht anyway.

    so a lot of drivers coming out only know how to start, drive and stop a car.

    rules, regulations, ethics... they have no idea. :S very disturbing.

    By Blogger BaptizedLucifer, at January 14, 2006 at 7:12 PM  

  • Lulu - congratulations on passing the test :)

    and welcome to my blog


    baptizedlucifer - you make a very good point. People's driving skills and attitudes here are as diverse as their social fabric...

    oh and welcome to my blog as well ;)

    By Blogger moryarti, at January 14, 2006 at 9:41 PM  

  • "SCRATCH YOUR WEBOS"?
    Shu hadda? What else is one to do with ones "Webos"?
    And seriously Professoré WEBOS?????
    This is new terminology to me.
    Am i to assume correctly that you speak of the dual carrier suspended temperature regulated pouch?

    By Blogger kaya, at January 14, 2006 at 11:13 PM  

  • Lol @ Kaya .. Yes, you are right.

    i borrowed it from Pablo Francisico, an American/Mexican comedian that is out of this world... :)

    btw, great to see you back online again..

    By Blogger moryarti, at January 15, 2006 at 7:52 AM  

  • Thankyou kind Sir. Tis good to be back. Its like Blue Ridge Mountains, Shannandoah river. Its like coming home.
    Sadly its a short breather, untill the inlaws arrive this thursday. after which you can read about me in the "ÖBITS".

    By Blogger kaya, at January 15, 2006 at 9:28 AM  

  • Nice, kinda reminds me of my blog...I write about the same things.

    Amasing that people in UAE never indicate. But again, not even the police follow road rules. If the cops don't know how to drive...I'm not surprised everyone else doesn't either.

    I also find it surprising that ex-pats are worse than locals. As soon as they get into a car they forget everything they knew in their home countries.

    By Blogger Greek in Dubai, at November 15, 2009 at 5:39 PM  

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