Dubai Consumer Mirror

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Top 10 Most Annoying Twitter Users in the UAE

Yeah, blogging is dead (or is dying anyways) and instant updates and microblogging is the big thing now. Everyone wants you to make your point in 140 characters or less.

If you have something you really really want to discuss at length, then yeah .. maybe I'll look at your blog later when i decided to clear out my RSS reader...

ANYHOO... i've been "observing" this twitter business for a good couple of years now. And yes, there are days when I just put down my phone and stop looking at my twitter app for the rest of the entire day, simply because it gets soo ANNOYING.

And here are top 10 most annoying UAE Twitter types in the UAE:

The Overshare-er:
08:00 "yaaaawn... just woke up *stretch*"
08:05 "I just pooped"
08:10 "having breaki.. nomnomnom check it out: http://twitpic.D1sGusTing"
08:20 "what should I wear? choices choices..."
08:22 "Ok, I am wearing a blue top, beige bottoms"
08:24 "Completely changed my mind. Beige top, blue bottoms.. yaay"
08:41 "Can't find my keys, WTF"
08:42 "Found my keys, they were in my hand. lol, #FAIL"
08:50 "I love my Toyota Prius"
09:00 "Twaffic report; SZR is not blocked.. what happened?"
09:37 "Just got to work, no parking #HateMyJob"
09:39 "Have to park in paid zone .. #RTA #FAIL"
10:o0 "boss is here, he stinks, no deodorant. Oh wait, thats me. ROTFL. #FAIL"

So on and so forth... you get the picture, vividly

The Hypocrite-er
Disclaimer: these tweets below really took place: They were slightly altered to protect the true identity of the douche bags that tweeted them:

"OMG, on my way to work on SZR and this guy is like talking on the phone while driving. WTH"
(Yeah, because texting/tweeting while driving is less dangerous you dumb moron)

"I hate the fact that we have to work on Sundays in this country. #FAIL"
(I don't see you complaining about having Fridays off you double-faced-dweeb)

Jeeeez..

The Serial RT-er
People who ReTweet (RT) everything and anything they see. They sometimes RT without even reading what they RT. One word for you: *Unfollow*

The I.am.in.love.with.myself-er
These guys are a special species. Mainly girls with a severe case of a disease commonly known as LackOfSelfConfiditus. And here are the major symptoms:

- Birthday celebrations usually last for 4 to 6 weeks, 2 to 3 weeks before and after.
- Create Hashtags about themselves. I suggest #AttentionWhore.
- Seldom a day pass without posting a pick of herself with that "I am doable" pose
- Has a special folder called 'Twitter Display Photos' that is updated almost daily
- Tweets about her entire evening upcoming itinerary because..well you know..
- A deep believer that the day she falls sick must be declared as a national holiday
- Usually claims that everyone in the office hates her because she is hot n' all the guys want to do her. Where in reality, no knows she exists.


The Promoter-er
Usually hold usernames like @BrandNameMiddlEast or @Company_UAE or something lame like that. They do nothing but spam their users with their boring company news, special offers, retweet EVERYTHING or ANYTHING that mentions their boring company news or special offers.

I don't entirely mind that one, but I'd prefer if they (1) do it moderately and (2) treat followers as human beings and interact with them as such, not as "unsegmented target market".

Though I must admit, there are very few exceptions... Oh well, moving on

The Self.Proclaimed.Social.Media.Guru-er
An alarmingly growing breed and my personally most hated one in the bunch. Funny thing is, the ones i actually consider as true social media experts, never say so publicly.

These "gurus" walk around thinking they are some kind of celebrities. They rarely follow back other twitter users because, well, who is interested in mortals.

Thankfully, i don't follow any of them and but I had the miss-fortune of listening to some of them talk in a couple of events.

I asked a couple of well connected people about those Guru's REAL background and found out that most of the so-called "gurus" are people who lost their original jobs or weren't good in what they were trained to do originally and decided to become "social media experts" ...

Yes yes... I really need someone to teach me how to update my facebook page, jackass.


The Sir-ask-a-lot
This type treats Twitter as a source of money and information. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, BUT only when you give something in return and not treat your followers as your personal secretaries.

Sample tweets:
"Does anyone know has the number to Dubai Taxi? TIA"
"Someone knows the telephone of headhunters? TIA"
"Can someone Google the telephone number for DEWA and send it to me? TIA" <- I swear this tweet happened

I rest my case...


The Sir-I-beg-a-lot
Usually related and sometimes carries the title Sir-ask-a-lot as well. Now these guys will do anything to get free stuff and discounts from everyone, regardless to how absurd their requests are.

Sample tweets:
"Can someone bake me a cake and send it to me for free? in return, i'll tweet about eating it.."
"Can someone drop me everyday from Ajman to Jabal Ali? I'll follow you on twitter in return"
"I am looking for a someone to design a website for free. I'll include your name in the 'about section'"

What a leech.... grow some dignity for f#$%'s sake.

The multi-account-synchronize-er
Yes, great idea to sync your Facebook, Tweetdeck, Foursquare, Gawalla, Buzz, Youtube and blog all together... Because, really, I can't have enough of the 3 twitter accounts you post on already.

The moan-whine-whinge-er
Yes, wipe that smug off your face. You know exactly who i am talking about. Not a day will pass without him/her having to moan about, in random order:

Traffic
Bank
Job
Boss
Etisalat <- Ok, that one is justified
Food
Weather
Taxi driver body oder
Husband/wife
Kids
Shopping
Boyfriend/girlfriend
Not having a boyfriend/girlfriend
DEWA
Airports
Annoying blogs that talk about annoying twitter types..
...

These folks have turned moaning, whining and whinging into a national ... ops, sorry, i mean, an EXPAT sport.



THERE, now you have it .. my own top 10 list of the most annoying twitter types in the UAE. Anymore that I should have included?

11 Comments:

  • Of course you wouldn't mind the promoter. #FAIL :P

    By Blogger KJ, at June 9, 2010 at 9:34 AM  

  • I'm not denying the fact that you're 100% accurate, but there is a button called "Unfollow", you know!

    By Anonymous Bilal, at June 9, 2010 at 9:50 AM  

  • What a good way to start the day. Nice to see you back.

    By Anonymous CY, at June 9, 2010 at 10:01 AM  

  • n1

    By Blogger J Ramzan, at June 9, 2010 at 10:15 AM  

  • You forgot the die-hard activist; the cyber militant. Like myself.

    By Blogger Dubai Jazz, at June 9, 2010 at 10:31 AM  

  • Does that feel better now?

    :) :) :)

    By Blogger alexander..., at June 9, 2010 at 10:36 AM  

  • -the conversationist:

    "I think everyone should read my smart reply RT @moron1 wow that's so dump @moron2 I said a dump thing"

    -And those who don't adapt to 140 character count:
    "This is the story of my life and I have to share it with you thank god for twitlonger... http://tl.gd/continue"

    -And the one who thinks he's much smarter than the rest of the world:
    "Witty tweet exhibit a"
    "Tweet exhibit b: bashing people because they're not him"

    -And those refuse change and ever using the new RT, "copy every tweet with a little signature (via @some1)"

    -the plagiarists: those people love attention and would do anything to have some so they steal other's updates and repost them as if they were theirs. "Likewhitecrayonunderscore if I were a boy...even just for a day"

    Can I continue?

    By Anonymous Mi, at June 9, 2010 at 10:48 AM  

  • Will have to watch what i tweet around u from now on...#insecure ;-)

    U should become a 'social media guru' yourself and get a job with Spot on Pr and do radio shows with blond chick from the TV. #Ouch.

    By Blogger Abood, at June 9, 2010 at 10:54 AM  

  • how does this apply to the UAE specifically? This could be about any twitter user all over the world.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 9, 2010 at 12:50 PM  

  • nice one, mate. I like your style. Very similar to mine. lemme know what you think of this : http://www.tabarakrazvi.com

    also my good friend has a great blog very similar to mine in flavor http://www.confinedwisdom.com

    Check us out and keep blogging.

    Peace!

    By Blogger Tabarak 'T.BONE' Razvi, at June 9, 2010 at 1:48 PM  

  • Haha, I especially loved the 'Guru-er' part. True. Thank God the 'unfollow' button exists!

    By Blogger Sana H., at July 8, 2010 at 8:35 PM  

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