Dubai Consumer Mirror

Friday, October 19, 2007

7 things I am NOT on Facebook for

1. Be attacked, hit, bitten, and spanked by ninja zombies, rasta vampires, firey werewolves or spacy pirates. I just wanna catch up with some old friends.

2. Recieve ancient YouTube clips over and over AND over again. If someone sends me that "evolution of dance" clip one more time, I swear I will evolve my foot up his ass

3. Be poked, hugged, kissed, tugged, shoved, kicked, X-ed, slapped or spanked. Try doing that in person and you'll get my other foot up your ass

And dudes.. stop poking other dudes. Poking is for chics.

4. Joining pointless groups - I am sorry, but i am not interested in joining a Dubai based group that offers solid gold baby pacifiers with studded Swarovski chrystals. (Not a joke)

5. Receive Fortune cookies, animals to pet, plants to grow, cocktails, chocolate boxes, thongs or fluffy hand cuffs. If you really wanna give me something, give it to me in person you cheap skank.

6. Rate whether you are "Hot or Not". The fact that you are on Facebook makes the answer to that question very easy.

7. And Thank you very much. I do not want to know which Lost, Prison Brake, Desperate Housewives, Sex In the City, Ugly Betty, Heroes or Family Guy character you are. You are a loser.

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22 Comments:

  • moryarti, I agree with all of your sentiments.

    Although I joined facebook (to connect and keep in touch with old friends) I find the vampires and similar applications have been forwarded to me.

    No thanks, I ignore everything but genuine friend requests. Everything apart from that is junk, and every one of my "friends" who applies this junk is...probably not my friend, in the way I thought they were.

    Might as well order a hamburger now and add it to my updated "status".

    By Blogger i*maginate, at October 19, 2007 at 11:27 PM  

  • Well these are all very valid, but despite it i still deactivated facebook. Here's why!

    By Blogger base, at October 19, 2007 at 11:51 PM  

  • Hahahaha...

    I'm guilty of 5 and 7!!!

    But really...solid gold baby pacifiers with studded Swarovski crystals??? That's just plain weird and so useless...

    By Blogger D, at October 20, 2007 at 12:10 AM  

  • 8- if i'm to become a millionaire, hung like a moose, best dancer, most likely to get drunk in ireland, run around in a pink dress, slip on a banana, puke at a party, and loose sleep over a video game, i'm pretty much not gonna bother buying you that car cause i'm too drunk to remember.

    By Blogger Mazz, at October 20, 2007 at 4:10 AM  

  • Well played moryati! :D

    Although I found the "Enough with poking and let's have sex already!" group hilarious (or hilariously pathetic)! LOL!

    By Blogger Who's-sane!, at October 20, 2007 at 6:24 AM  

  • I agree with all said.

    Are we becoming grumpy old men already?

    By Blogger tobasco, at October 20, 2007 at 2:33 PM  

  • Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today ;)

    By Blogger KJ, at October 20, 2007 at 4:56 PM  

  • sa7i man btw you do know you can remove all these applications right?

    Set up a filter on your mailbox to remove/delete incoming emails from facebook applications. The email used from applications is different from the puritan facebook stuff, so you won't be losing all the important emails.

    By Blogger KJ, at October 20, 2007 at 5:00 PM  

  • i*maginate ... some people totally abuse the STATUS feature. I remember this guys pasting the details of his entire trip from his house to the airport, just so that he can let everyone know that he is travelling...

    base - i think there is a feature were you can temporarily suspend your account without losing all the features

    d - i didn't believe it myself until i saw the group. Hideous stuff!

    mazz - more facebook nonsense :)

    Who-sane - I KNOW .. i saw that group. Its 99% guys and i think the remaining 1% is guys posing as girls :P

    tabasco - seems like it my friend.

    KJ - Oh yeah, I've disabled all that nonsense :)

    By Blogger moryarti, at October 20, 2007 at 5:16 PM  

  • It's simple.. just ignore all the requests you get, except for the friends request.

    I have a ton of requests which I never checked and never will. I only check the requests if somebody requested to be my friend. Other than that, I don't bother to check the requests..

    By Blogger Amjad, at October 20, 2007 at 11:36 PM  

  • I agree with pretty much all of this; I've been ignoring pretty much 95% of the group invitations etc I've been receiving since I joined facebook and I haven't even bothered with attempting to sift through the crap yet.

    By Blogger samuraisam, at October 21, 2007 at 1:09 AM  

  • well Mory, Facebook has helped me re-discover myself, I never knew i would join a group like: \"Humanitarian Aid + Steamy Looks = Emergency Sex & Other Desperate Measures\"!

    By Blogger DUBAI JAZZ, at October 21, 2007 at 8:54 PM  

  • moryarti, the other funny thing is adding frends, catching up with them by writing just one message, receiving their response, and finding you never write back to them again or at least in a long time...when they are your friend haha

    Anyway all in all it's great for keeping in touch with people - I think of it like an email database of people I want to stay in touch with, with the odd photo album to look through when bored...but nothing more!

    The irony of it all is that I would love to join the group that's named something like "Who wants to be a fucking vampire" but if I joined it...I would be a group-joiner haha. Catch 22!

    By Blogger i*maginate, at October 22, 2007 at 3:38 PM  

  • Sam - you are a blogger to the bone..

    DJ - keef 7alab man? :)

    i*maginate - not only that, what really pisses me off is when I get a friend request from someone i haven't seen in ages; i get really excited about getting in touch with him, I send him a message telling him how happy I am to be in touch with him/her again ..bla bla.. then i don't here ANYTHING back.

    If you are not planning to get in touch, why did you add me inthe first place?

    And i did, to be honest, remove several people who never responded to messages..

    By Blogger moryarti, at October 22, 2007 at 9:21 PM  

  • yeah...another one is clients I have met. It's like wtf r u adding me as a friend, you're my frigging client! hehe

    Other is long-lost friends who disappear and reappear asking stupid questions like "where have you been".

    I feel like superpoking them and throwing a fried egg at them (if there is an application for that), and asking where the heck THEY have been. In the end, I'll just ignore them.

    Some really weird people out there!

    Do you think we should start a group on facebook? Whoops...you're not a facebooker! Well SUPERPOKE YOU! :P

    By Blogger i*maginate, at October 22, 2007 at 10:58 PM  

  • oh jeez - nzm rushes over to Moryarti's Facebook page to check that she has answered his messages and hasn't been removed! :-)

    By Blogger nzm, at October 23, 2007 at 7:31 AM  

  • blah blah blah

    y'all nag too much ..

    :D

    By Blogger inmotion, at October 23, 2007 at 12:46 PM  

  • hahaha you have mirrored my thoughts EXACTLY -- much needed post!

    By Blogger Abha, at October 24, 2007 at 2:59 AM  

  • I've just invited you to join the group 'No I don't want to add your application to my sodding profile group'.

    By Blogger Keefieboy, at October 30, 2007 at 9:16 PM  

  • OMG.... I hope i am not guilty of doing any of those things to you. Lol how did i miss this post???

    By Blogger A Yahya, at November 5, 2007 at 12:09 PM  

  • Thats it. Im going over to spank you, poke you, and send you a super vampire.
    Go check....

    By Blogger kaya, at November 25, 2007 at 8:58 AM  

  • Talking about the revolution of facebook become a great impact of reconnect with the other communities. The disadvantage of it, that useless applications been linked to facebook.

    By Blogger Petite For Life, at December 7, 2007 at 1:22 PM  

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