Suheir Hammad

Did the Americans pull out of Iraq?

Because they were all over Mall of the Emirates today.

7 things I am NOT on Facebook for

1. Be attacked, hit, bitten, and spanked by ninja zombies, rasta vampires, firey werewolves or spacy pirates. I just wanna catch up with some old friends.

2. Recieve ancient YouTube clips over and over AND over again. If someone sends me that "evolution of dance" clip one more time, I swear I will evolve my foot up his ass

3. Be poked, hugged, kissed, tugged, shoved, kicked, X-ed, slapped or spanked. Try doing that in person and you'll get my other foot up your ass

And dudes.. stop poking other dudes. Poking is for chics.

4. Joining pointless groups - I am sorry, but i am not interested in joining a Dubai based group that offers solid gold baby pacifiers with studded Swarovski chrystals. (Not a joke)

5. Receive Fortune cookies, animals to pet, plants to grow, cocktails, chocolate boxes, thongs or fluffy hand cuffs. If you really wanna give me something, give it to me in person you cheap skank.

6. Rate whether you are "Hot or Not". The fact that you are on Facebook makes the answer to that question very easy.

7. And Thank you very much. I do not want to know which Lost, Prison Brake, Desperate Housewives, Sex In the City, Ugly Betty, Heroes or Family Guy character you are. You are a loser.

Yazan

A good friend and a fellow blogger, lost both his parents in a tragic car accident last week.

I called Yazan yesterday.

I punched his numbers and gazed at the phone for a moment before pressing the SEND button.

I was divided between loathing myself for finding out too late and being in situations involving death of loved ones; they never go well.

Whether in person or through the phone, grief and pain find a way to transcend down and tap me on the shoulder, reminding me that I am too close to the "real world" than I choose to believe.

I pressed "SEND" and started chocking with my words before Yazan picked up the call.

He was strong, intact and all the man his parents ever wanted him to be. He had a plan, he knew what he was doing and what he wants to do next.

May their souls rest in peace.

We are all here for you my friend.

Food you'll wish you never have to eat, smell... or even see!

Check out this scary list of food that I never knew existed!


Oh yes, these little things resting at the bottom of that wine bottle are baby mice!

Via [cracked]

Eid Mubarak

Wishing everyone all the best ..

A real nut case..

I don't know about you, but I certainly enjoyed today's print of GulfNews; especially this story..

Construction worker loses left nut after b!tch slapping boss.

The supervisor, who is currently detained, said: "After I asked him to stop using the phone he cursed and slapped me so I unintentionally kicked him..."

Wonder if the victim still has any hard feelings ...

Dealing With Stupid People Online

Just read an interesting post by blogger Ryan Caldwell on dealing with online morons.

I have to say I've been running into more stupid people online than before these past few week. Thats one of the reasons why I am barely active on the UAE blogger scene. I, and many people i know agree, that the blogosphere is losing its charm..

You can read the whole thing here, below is a snapshot:

So what makes a stupid person?
As I use the term, a stupid person is a person who meets one or more of these characteristics:

- Rather than positively contribute to a community, they prefer to attack people who are smart and successful
- They have a hard time thinking outside of a binary mode (either you are for us or you're against us)
- They are closed to complexities and possibilities that take a little brain work (i.e. stick to simple and obvious)
- They spend their lives wishing they were someone else (often letting jealousy take root)
- Instead of acting, they wish

Sounds familiar .. don't you think?